有自信是好事，对吧？

星期日的运动会
规划3个游戏
其中两个自己没看过，没玩过
一个是从学妹那里听来的，游戏规则是她通过微信教会我的
另外一个是从wikipedia学来的

然后就打算这样上场了

有自信是好事，对吧？

Praying hard that it will not explode in front of my face...

6 months

6 “astonishing-thrilling-exhilarating-confusing-happening-weird-happy-sad-miserable-fun-fulfilling-zen-exciting-everything is so new-everything is so boring-so much more to learn-entertaining-blissful” months had GONE
Another 6 more months to go
May the craziness goes on!!!


 

又要告别安逸生活了

还有3天
时间过的真是快啊，寒假就快放完了
要告别在家的安逸生活
重返繁忙的大都市了
好舍不得…

分别心

其实说到底，自己也有分别心。
明明朝着相同的方向，只是走的路不太一样，没有对与错，只有习不习惯而已。
觉得自己待久了，怎样都有点法水了，但发现自己要修的，还有很多。

所以可能我真的了解，可能也不太了解
但
心宽念纯吧
不伤害别人，自己的菱角磨一磨也是好的。

November

November had been a nice month
Winter is coming soon and I am pretty excited about that
I finished 2 papers for my final and 3 more papers to complete next month
I had quite some fun,ate some nice food,drank some good coffee,travel to a few places nearby
I satisfied quite easily which I think is also a good thing
And most importantly everyone around me seems a little happier this time of the year
which makes me happy too

Anyway looking forward to an even more exciting December and most certainly my 1st winter!!!

Cold hate me

I love cold drinks,ice-cream,ice,cold soup,cold salad...
But cold hate me
Cold hate me so much that it made my life unpleasant
It is not even winter yet and I am already using my thick winter blanket...
Winter is coming soon and well I think cold will keep on enjoying making me unpleasant then...


But still looking forward to winter

敏感的问题

到了我这个岁数，总会有几个问题是痛处，是你不愿别人提起的
对我而言，问我为什么今年XX岁了，还没毕业就是痛处。问我以后有没有想要继续读硕士、博士，也是很敏感的。
屈指一算，大学读了8年！8年是一个什么概念啊！小学也不过念了5年，中学也一样，但大学念了8年，就等于还要多花父母的钱8年！尴尬的8年啊！朋友们都毕业了，工作了，结婚了，当爸妈了，买房了，买车了，自己还在悻悻然地躲在象牙塔里继续念书。而且念完了还只是本科毕业而已，虽然是有两个本科，但毕竟也只是本科啊，还是不如那些硕士博士啊。虽然选择再念中医我并没有后悔，但有时候被提起为何还没毕业时总会有愧疚，虽然不至于到无地自容，但也怪不好受的。
期望能顺利毕业吧，是时候报答父母了，毕竟年纪也真的不小了。
还和我一样出境的朋友，你也要加油啊！！！

React react reaction...

Sometimes when you speak to me,you will notice that my face will be frozen and weird,like really really weird. I am neither smiling nor frowning, it's a mixture of both and maybe more expression. Just to make everything clear,it is not rude or ignorance to anything you said,it's just me trying to give a reaction.

Giving a reaction is something very delicate and I am not particularly good at.

When someone praise me,how should I react? Should I accept it with a big smile,it sounds cocky. Or should I just say thank you,maybe but then no one can continue the whole conversation. Should I say something good about that person in return or should I just shake the person's hand. I tried all of those and it is weird. End up the frozen+mixture of expression face... I don't know why,maybe because I don't think I deserved all the approval?

When someone criticize me,how should I react? Keep my head low and accept the criticism? Fight back? Listen attentively with a smile?Ignore? Nothing works too well either and I end up with the same old frozen+mixture of expression face...

It is awkward when you don't react correctly when dealing with both praise and criticism because a whole lot of conversation started that way. Hmmm...maybe this is why I tend to avoid talking to others or others tend to find it hard to start a conversation with me.

Anyhow,I am a friendly person in general so the next time you saw the frozen+mixture of expression face,don't freak out...please...

Sometimes I like to be alone

My schedule is not very normal
I had my own cycle of life and it changes everyday
I can be cheerful and energetic for a moment and completely shut down on the next moment
I can be lazy but all of sudden I will be very determined
I can be emotional once in a while and then be very emphatic
Damn...Lapse of anxiety and depression...Do I have bipolar???

Anyway
Sometimes I just want to be leave alone
To handle my emotion and what not
I guess that makes me a weird person
And probably the reason why I am single...
Forever alone then...

Hulala

Another week passed by. A nice one I guess.

Heard a inspirational talk from the TCM doctor from Malaysia. Life seems good for him and it does offer me a glimpse of hope on how I want to live my life in the future. He blend TCM and western medicine nicely and had done a lot of charity work as well. A role model for me but I wonder can I be as successful as he is. The time and many other things that had to be sacrificed to achieve that level,am I willing to do the same. Sometimes I think I lack determination. I mean I am quite smart and resourceful and frankly quite lucky. But I am not very hardworking. I need to be force to the edge to squeeze some potential out of me. I can finish a task efficiently but I tend to drag it the the LAST minute... And I get bored easily...It is a miracle that I am where I am.

DETERMINATION,need more of it.

Anyhow,when to Jinjiang again for the second time to attend my mum's cousin's son wedding!!! Jinjiang is a nice place and if I ever force to spend more years in China, there will be an ideal place to be. At least the weather there is quite similar to Malaysia (except the quite often typhoon),the place does resemble my hometown and the people there is friendlier compared to other places here. Speaking about wedding, I think I am more certain now that I DO NOT want a wedding in the future. It is so troublesome and I don't think I am willing to spend money on something so extravaganza... I think I will just elope with my future wife(whoever she is) to a beautiful place where no one know us and get our marriage certificate...

Uni is well as usual. Last studying semester with 5 subjects is not really a heavy load but well still have classes and practicals for 5 days a week. Looking forward to the winter though.... 

一辈子 孤单？

当有人越亲近时
我就会开始保持距离
开始疏远
开始在自己周围建起围墙
就这样无意中伤害了很多人
不管是家人也好
朋友也好

也许这就是afraid of commitment吧...
是害怕自己受伤害吗？
可是小时候好像也没有这方面的阴影啊...

可能
就会因为这样
一辈子就孤零零吧
不是forever alone

还是有家人
还是有朋友
但就是少了soul mate吧

有人说可能一辈子也遇不到一个soul mate
你会遇到很多爱你的人
但soul mate真的是靠缘分了
也许就是500年前的一个回头
还是1000年前的一个擦肩而过
才能造就这一世灵魂的交接

可能也和我的性格有关吧
极其讨厌被绑住，被束缚
对过度的关心很敏感、很反感
但有时候又会自怨自艾
就是   犯贱

可能一辈子就孤单吧
不是心灵上的孤单
也许也不是没有人的孤单
而是灵魂的孤单
就是生命中那一小小块的缺陷
虽然很小，但就是因为它而少了点什么...

我

朋友说我单纯
但也有说我傻

单纯也好
傻也好

希望可以一直保持这份赤子之心吧

我还是很好胜的...

我以为我不在意了
原来我错了，大错特错
心里那一个好胜的我还确确实实存在
还会时不时出现
扰乱我那自以为不在意的心。

只是真的想不通为什么只拿84分
回家后检查，答案都没有什么错
原本还自信满满地以为至少能拿个90分
哪知道
在讨论时错的比我多的同学
都拿94分、95分

自己一直在抨击填鸭式的教育和考试方式
一方面一直深陷在要那高分的心里
真讽刺啊！

还在 念大学

当看到中学、大学的老同学相继迈向人生的另一个阶段
有些人结婚了，有些人生孩子了，有些人做老板了
有些人升见习了，有些人升培训了，有些人受证了，有人回归志业体了

自己还在装嫩念大学
轻轻松松做个大学生
不只是该觉得可笑还是可悲呢？

算了吧

最后还是去不成
那就算了吧

以后
有了自己的薪水
就可以心安理得
想去就去

也许这样最好吧
一个月
怎么过？
暑假大家都回家了
再想想办法吧...

我还在

消失了很久...
其实...
我还在...

只是。。。
比较忙。。。
也有点盲。。。

要多点更新了...
好希望...

I am good at hiding stuff

If I want to...
I hid many many dark secrets here and there for years...\
Without anyone noticing...

My latest accomplishment...
My Semester 4 results...
Which arrived on Monday (as I expected and which I successfully managed to hijack without any interference)...

Well...
My results is actually OKish...
Way better than I expected (for most of them...)
Not as great as last semester (which is going to be impossible to top but still OKish)...
Never expect that the I did quite well on the only subject that I thought I will flap horribly(Damn those SAQ which I really thought I scored 8/30)...

Anyway...
Will try to keep it as a secret as long as I think is suitable...
And no one will ever guess where I hid the result slip...
Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Machine gun mouth

When I am driving...
I just can't stop cursing...
>.<
Non stop...
Everyone was a lousy road user except me...

Really need to 停止造口业...

I need a 1TB hard disk

The real thing
To store my downloaded drama series...
And for my brain
So that I can remember more and store more info...

平时就爱吃

考试更爱吃
结果搞到自己常常要上厕所
耽误了读书的时间

也许考试期间
胃火特别旺吧

写着写着
又饿了
是时候吃宵夜了...